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| Michael |
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| Benjamin |
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| Emilie |
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| Joseph |
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| Nathanael |
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| Samuel |
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| Timothy |
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| Christopher |
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| Liberty |
My "horde" gets grouped together most of the time. "Valencics!" "Your kids" "Your younger kids" "Your older kids" "One of your boys" "All your boys" "Those kids" "Your middle boys" "The short ones" "The baby" "No, the older one" "The blonde one" "The redhead one" "The brown haired ones" "I forget their names" "Whats his name"... makes it easier for them but don't expect me to know who you are talking about every time lol :)
I do not have a problem with this. It only bothers me at the times when my kids are the group, and other families are individual kids with names and likes and dislikes and personalities and talents and ages, even. I don't expect anyone to remember my kids' names and ages and all of the above. That's my job. Their learning abilities, their favorites, their fears, their dreams, their memories, and favorite foods. However, do remember that they DO have names, DO have individual facets other than being part of our conglomerate.
They were born one at a time and grew into our family. Each one is as special as our first. We don't love any of our children less than Michael, our first though we did nearly 2 years on our own with him. (though we were both in school full time). Each child spent nearly 9 months near my heart and still occupies a great deal of that space. Each is just as special to me as any mother's children or one child or any child that is wanted, worked for, planned for, hoped for, prayed for, and wished for, even if it seems it 'comes easy' to me to have children. Each of my children I have watched, played with, helped, taught, been taught by, rejoiced with, cried over, cried with, been up all hours of the night with, cleaned up after, and prayed for.
After every child we're asked if we're "done." Ask Heavenly Father. After all, it's up to him no matter what kind of planning anyone does. I don't think it's anyone's business other than His and ours. We provide for our children. No, we probably won't be able to buy them cars, pay their car insurance for them or their college education but we will be able to help. No, they don't have the latest games, the best clothes or eat out often but they do have their own things, play games with the family, are not naked, have clothes they like, and are well fed. They are healthy, know how to work with their family and others, and can relate to their peers of any age.
We have 9 children, one is no longer with us. Yes, he is still part of our family. The kids know who he is and know that he is their brother forever thanks to the blessings of the temple and being a family forever. No, we don't talk about him to just anyone, but if you are genuinely interested, I would love to tell you more about him. Or any of my children.
I'm told often, I don't know how you do it, I can't deal with one, or two, or three, or etc. That's fine, we're all given our families and we are each best suited to working with our own children, however they come to us, through adoption, birth, fostering, extended family, or however we are blessed. I take my children one at a time and one day at a time. However, yes, I do have to be able to deal all of them at once at dinner time, to not lose them when in a crowded location or getting them out the door to be at church in time for Michael to help prepare the sacrament... and that takes planning, organization, and delegation, all of which comes with practice and trial and error. Heck, yes, we've had lots of errors but we keep trying. We are each given our own challenges in life and yes, that probably includes our children.
One thing I have learned the more children I have is how infinite our Heavenly Father's love must be when I have so much love for each of my 9 children... and the love for each of my children grows every day. Love doesn't divide the more people you love, it multiplies.
They aren't a group. They have names. They are each their own person. That's really all I wanted to say. (they are only numbers when we count off in the car to make sure we have everyone...)
And if we have any more children, those children will also be wanted, special, cared for, prayed for, and planned for even if not exactly by us.
Hi. You said you found me--I didn't know you were looking or I'd have helped you out. :)
ReplyDeleteBut now I've found you, too.
People do group larger families together as a horde, but they're usually slightly envious of what those larger families have.
Your kids are delightful--as a group or on their own.
I just knew you had a blog, I found it by accident :) I've enjoyed reading it. And thank you!
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