Goodnight.

I never sleep on the 31st of July.  Well, not til it's officially August.  Not even really consciously thinking about it... I remember those last few minutes before midnight 11 years ago, checking for a little heartbeat but really and truly knowing this was it, that we had felt our son's last breath in Tom's arms and felt his little spirit leave his body behind, and us to mourn for him.  Though I really feel that he stuck around for a minute or two to say goodbye, see you later, and I love you.  He is my son.  He is my child.  I felt him move close to my heart.  I gave birth to him.  We all held him close in life, and now he holds us close at these times when we really need him. 

I have ten truly wonderful children that I am proud to call my own.

My Joseph.  Our angel.  A protector.  I look forward to seeing him again someday, and I hope I will know his face.